Westgate Families

Dear Parent,

If no one has said it to you yet, you’re doing a good job.  Parenting was already an uphill grind.  But now… with little to no advance notice you’ve become the end all be all in your household in a new way.   You’re the parent, the nurse, the teacher, the mental health counselor, the problem-solver, the chef, the baker, the argument resolver, the list goes on.  Many of you filled those roles already, but you had other people who took a turn in those spaces with you.  Now it feels like it’s ALL ON YOU.  That’s hard… everyone in the family is lacking the security that comes from the normal routine and schedule and, as much as you love your kids, you’re probably frustrated by how few moments you’ve been able to have for yourself.  Those moments that provided an opportunity for you to catch your breath and get your head on straight before jumping back into the fray.

It makes sense that you’d feel tired right now.  It makes sense that you’d feel ill-equipped to teach your kids from home.  It makes sense that you’d be stressed out by all of this.  It makes sense that you and your kids are going stir crazy.  It makes sense that you’d feel yourself and your family floundering a bit in the absence of the normal family schedules and routines.  It makes sense that you’d feel frazzled and stressed in the absence of the physical presence of the village you’ve leaned on to help raise your kids along with you.  We’re ALL feeling that.  You are not alone!

Recognize one thing in this:  Even if they’re not saying it… even if their attitudes are crappy… even if you have felt behind the curve for the entire time since schools were closed… your kids are enjoying and benefitting from this extra time with you.  Here are a few quick and easy ideas (with links provided) of things you can do with your kids as we all adjust to our temporary “new normal.”

Learn ASL: A few basic signs are quick and easy to learn, most kids enjoy learning how to fingerspell their name! Check out this Youtube video on fingerspelling or try downloading this app to lean some basic ASL vocabulary with your kids.

Visit museums, zoos, theme parks, and acquariums online: A few of the more noteworthy ones include the National Museum of the United States Air Force, the San Diego Zoo (which has the most animal live cam options), and the Smithsonian National Museum of Natural History (which offers 360 degree tours of every exhibit in the museum). Click here to check out the complete list.  Want to explore some art galleries? Click here to check out another list that allows you to tour art galleries around the world.

Have a dance party: Search for “Just Dance” on Youtube and you’ll find a wide array of choreographed songs to dance to with your kids. It’s kind of like karaoke, but with dance moves instead.  Throw it up on your TV if you’re able and enjoy!  Here are starter videos for younger kids and older kids.

Have a paper airplane competition: Nothing beats a little friendly competition!  Let each family member pick a design using this Youtube video and let ‘em fly!

Keep your kids spiritually engaged: Westgate’s live-streamed services run on Sundays (10am) and Tuesdays (7pm) and are accessible via the church website (westgatechapel.com), Facebook live (www.facebook.com/wgcedmonds), or on Youtube (by searching for “Westgate Chapel Edmonds”).  At the very least, have your kids join you for the beginning worship portion of service!  Also check out the Westgate Kids Resource Page for find “Westgate Kids” on instagram for kid specific content and devotions in addition to keeping your high schoolers connected to Westgate Students live-streaming and online activities via Facebook and Instagram.

BONUS: Finally, if all you’ve been hearing is the “I’m bored” phrase from your kiddos… check out this article with 30 ideas to help them change their tune.

Dear Parent,

God’s approval and love for you is not based upon a daily check mark in a Bible reading plan.  His heart and desire for you is to draw near to him by meditating on his Word (Joshua 1:8) and communicating with him through prayer (Matthew 6:9-13).  This instruction is matched to his promise to draw near in the process, rewarding those who earnestly and diligently seek him (James 4:8, Hebrews 11:6).  Spiritual disciplines like Scripture reading and prayer are not empty religious tasks that God extends to us as a test of our faithfulness.  Instead they are the vehicles through which he guides and encourages us, refills our cup, refocuses our perspective, and equips us with the wisdom and insight to navigate the daily challenges of life and parenting.

Unfortunately, there is no golden bullet to achieving meaningful and significant personal devotions.  Remember that pesky verse in Hebrews 11:6?  Diligence in our pursuit of God is one of the characteristics at play here.  Look, I can’t sugar coat this.  This is a battle, even for me.  If anyone has ever told you or given off the impression that a regular habit of personal devotions is easy… they’re lying through their teeth.  And if you were wondering, being a pastor doesn’t make the habit of devotions magically easier.  It is a battle for us too.  Developing, maintaining, and deepening any relationship takes time.  But as I reflect on my life, the relationships that I’ve made the most investment into are the most life-giving and fulfilling.  I think there’s a similar dynamic in our relationship with God.

It’s helpful to remember that the goal isn’t to have my “moment with God for the day” and check it off my list… the intent of spiritual disciplines is to move me closer to the Lord, increase my awareness/sensitivity of him at work in my day and my family, and ensure he has access to my thoughts, attitudes, and actions.There are two right answers here: One significant chunk of intentional time given to the Lord each day OR many intentional 1-5 minute chunks spread throughout your day between nap time, snack time, diaper time, play time, second diaper time, scream-for-no-apparent-reason time, and throw-all-your-toys-everywhere time.  There is certainly value in extended time before the Lord, but God knows what it’s like to have needy children.

My hope is that these twelve tips and ideas will help to encourage and strengthen your personal time with the Lord.  Be honest and realistic with yourself.  Don’t try to do everything, pick 2-3 things that really resonate with you and give them a shot!  Have some of your own or would like to share some things that have worked for you?  Add to the discussion in the comments below.

1. Ask the Lord for a devotional strategy: How might God want to revitalize, restructure, or influence your devotions?  Find or create a window of undisturbed time.  Ask your spouse to run interference, get out of the house, or do it after the kids are in bed.  Sit down with a pen and paper in a space with no screens or distractions.  Put on some quiet instrumental worship music if you think it would help.  Spend the first few minutes in quiet before the Lord.  Start by taking a few deep breaths and presenting whatever thoughts, worries, or concerns from the day that arise to Him.  Spend the next few minutes in worship.  Thank him for how you’ve seen him at work in your day, for a way in which you saw his hand or provision for your family.  Praise him for who He is… his love, kindness, grace, fairness, justice, etc.  Now present your request to him (Philippians 4:6-7).
2. Invite the Holy Spirit into your readings:  The Bible is the one book who’s author sits next to us as we read.  Before you even open your Bible, take a few moments and invite the Holy Spirit into whatever time you have to read that day (even if it’s just a for a few minutes as you’re hiding in the bathroom from the little monster clamoring outside for your attention).
3. Quality over quantity:  Give yourself permission to stop in your readings, even after just one verse, if something leaps off the page at you.  Ask the Lord, “What are you trying to say?”  Write the verse down on your hand, your arm, a piece of paper, or take a picture of it with your phone and set it as your lock screen.  Carry it with you for the day, referring to it whenever there’s a break in the action or when you’d otherwise find yourself stealing a few seconds to scroll through Facebook, Instagram, Reddit, or Pinterest.
4. Study the scripture behind your favorite worship song:  I’ve found that worship songs gain a new dimension when I’m familiar with the scriptures behind the lyrics.  Take 5-10 minutes to discern the verses that the song writer based the lyrics on.  Google is your friend.  Familiarize yourself with the verse and it’s context, then put the song on repeat!
5. Put your Bible App on your home page next to (or in place) of your most used app:  Self-explanatory =)
6. Do it with someone else:  Find a friend, extended family member, or a spouse to offer mutual accountability.  This doesn’t need to take long or be overly complex.  You’re simply looking for a brief, mutual conversation in which you both ask “What did you read today?”  If this person is your spouse, consider making the discussion a normal part of the conversation at dinner.  This benefits your kids as you demonstrate the value and role of God’s word in the lives of their parents and how normal it can be to discuss their spirituality with the rest of the family.
7. Worship music throughout the house:  Music is a powerful thing and helps to keep us focused on the Lord throughout our day.  It also influences our mood, affects our memory, and makes public bathrooms less awkward (we’ll save that for a different blog post, however).  The “WorshipNow” playlist on Spotify is a great way to start filling your home with worship music.  Be sure to find a way to include the songs that you’ve examined the base scriptures from (See #3)!
8. Use a Bible Reading Plan:  Yes, missing a day can be defeating and guilt-inducing… and yes, if you’re like me checking the boxes can be more of a motivation sometimes than reading Scripture itself.  But without a plan, I have nothing to be accountable to.  Right now I’m reading through the Bible chronologically using a plan like this one.  You can also check out this site for topical/devotional plans that have a shorter duration.
9. Go for a prayer walk:  Exactly how it sounds.  Go without a script or an expectation, simply pray as things come to mind or to sight.  If you’ve got a little one with you, pray over them as you walk.  If you have older ones with you encourage them to participate with you by taking turns.
10. Use an audio Bible:  Access an online version of the New Living Translation in your web browser by clicking here.  Or download the free Youversion Bible App and listen to an audio Bible on the go by clicking here.
11. Use a devotional to supplement:  Jesus Calling by Sarah Rice is a great place to start for a short, simple devotional.  If you want something to take you a little deeper, check out Sparkling Gems From The Greek by Rick Renner which will unpack the meaning and significance of individual Greek words in the New Testament.
12. Have a healthy expectation:  We refer to them as spiritual disciplines for a reason.  An angel chorus won’t show up in your living room everyday, some days you may feel as if you gained nothing of significance, and other days you may fall asleep again in the middle of your readings (guilty).  Trust that God is working regardless of how you feel and keep at it!

Interact with your family leading up to Christmas using this 7-day reading plan and checkout the this article which provides a few ideas/activities for your kids over Christmas break (includes ideas like Christmas Bingo and a “reindeer food” recipe that’s easy and great for gifting to neighbors, etc).

Tips for success in using the reading plan:

• Establish a similar time in the day for the next week to complete the readings as a family.  Bedtime?  Immediately following dinner?
• Split up or simplify the readings if needed
• Involve younger kids by working with them to look up the verses
• Involve older kids by asking them in advance to lead the family through the devotional readings for that day and add their own thoughts
• Take a moment to familiarize yourself with the devotional thoughts attached to the plan each day before leading your family through it.  Ask the Lord, “How would you use this to speak to my family today?”
• Start the plan on Wednesday, Dec 18 if you want to end on Christmas Eve.
• Start the plan on Thursday, Dec 19 if you want to end on Christmas Day

Use these prompts to get conversation flowing between you and your grade/middle schooler:

• Tell me about something that you think is amazing
• What family rules do you want to discuss?
• Do you need a hug?
• Have you heard any good jokes lately?
• What is your favorite ________ right now?
• What is God teaching you at school or at church?
• What do you need from me as you communicate with your teachers this year?

Read more about these discussion starters on the Fuller Youth Institute blog by clicking here [4 minute read].

The holidays can be tough!  Take a moment and reflect on these holiday tips by clicking here [3 minute read].

Here’s an excerpt: “Spend some time now setting realistic and manageable expectations for your holiday season. So, be realistic and upfront about what your family can do. Make a list of what is possible and prioritize your most important events and activities for you and your family. Then, pace yourself”